Problem 3 - An Introduction to Theories of Personality

Question

What is the difference between criticizing a child's undesirable behaviors (which Rogers considers acceptable \(),\) and using conditional positive regard (which is harmful)? Illustrate with an example.

Step-by-Step Solution

Answer

The main difference lies in the treatment of child's behaviors. Criticizing child's behaviors involves providing constructive feedback and guiding them towards learning correct behaviors without passing judgement over them. Conditional positive regard, on the other hand, often uses positive attention and approval as a reward for compliance to expected behaviors, thereby posing risk of damaging the child's self-esteem because it is contingent upon behaviours that meets the adult's expectation.

Step 1: Concept Explanation

Give a brief description of both concepts: Criticizing a child's undesirable behaviors involves pointing out these behaviors and discussing with the child in a useful and instructive way. This helps the child identify and differentiate between desirable and undesirable behaviors. Conditional positive regard, however, involves adults giving children approval or positive regard only when they behave or perform as per the adults' expectations.

Step 2: Discuss the Differences

Discuss the differences between both approaches. In the former the primary goal is to help the child distinguish between good and bad behaviors, and learning to correct the bad ones. Adults treat all behaviors as part of the child's learning process. But in conditional positive regard, children are given approval, love and acceptance contingent to their behaviors. This creates a pressure on children to behave and perform as per adults' expectations to win their acceptance and love.

Step 3: Illustrate With Examples

You can refer to a situation where a child often lies about finishing his homework. If the adult criticizes the child's undesirable behavior, they won't condemn the child as a person, but would discuss why lying is bad. They might talk about the importance of honesty and completing homework. However, if conditional positive regard is used, the adult might only praise the child or give him attention when he completes his homework and tells the truth, neglecting or showing disdain when he lies.

Key Concepts

Behavior Criticism

Criticizing a child's behavior is like shining a light on actions that need to change without making the child feel negative about themselves. Imagine it as guiding a friend who might have taken a wrong turn. You discuss what happened, why it's not the right path, and how they can find their way back. This practice is very important in child development because:

• It helps children understand what behaviors are considered wrong or inappropriate.
• They learn the impact of their actions, promoting better decision-making.
• Discussions about behaviors, instead of character, allow kids to grow without feeling inadequate.

When adults focus on the behavior and not the child as a person, it opens doors for understanding and improvement. Children learn that while they might make mistakes, they are still valued and capable of better choices. This foundation is crucial for helping kids develop a strong sense of self-worth and understanding.

Conditional Positive Regard

Conditional positive regard might seem harmless, but it can impact a child's development in not-so-great ways. This approach is centered on the notion that a child receives love and approval only when they meet certain standards or behaviors:

• It ties affection and approval to specific behaviors, creating pressure.
• Children might feel rejected or unloved if they don't meet the conditions.
• Kids could start engaging in behaviors just to keep adults happy rather than understanding their own actions.

Imagine a child who gets praised only when they score top marks. This child might start associating love with achievements only. They might not feel appreciated for trying or being unique. In the long run, this can affect their confidence and willingness to try new things, as they might fear failure will lead to loss of affection. Instead of fostering real growth, it can create anxiety and a strong need for validation.

Carl Rogers

Carl Rogers was a famous psychologist who believed in understanding people as they are and helping them grow into the best versions of themselves. He argued that relationships with unconditional positive regard were vital for development. Here’s what he thought:

• Unconditional positive regard means offering support and acceptance, no matter what.
• It’s about valuing someone not for what they do but for who they are.
• He believed that when people feel valued, they’re more likely to explore and unfold their true potential.

Rogers' ideas reshaped how people think about child development and therapy. For example, by valuing a child regardless of their achievements, adults can encourage them to try new things without fear. Such an environment nourishes the child's ability to learn from mistakes, boosts self-esteem, and fosters resilience. Carl Rogers’ theory inspires environments where children feel secure and motivated to grow because they know they are valued simply for being themselves.